When 9-to-5 Doesn’t Exist — When Work Never Ends

I’ve never been afraid of hard work.

For years, I worked professionally, held positions of responsibility and had a demanding career. But hard work, for me, never stopped at the office. When we were renovating our house, I also did a lot of the physical work myself — rebuilding walls, laying bricks and insulating the roof. I know what it means to be physically exhausted from work.

That’s why I was all the more surprised by how much my perspective changed when I started thinking about the kind of work that isn’t usually thought of as work at all.

 When I stayed home with my child, 

I started looking at work a little differently.

When you work for a company, you eventually fall into a certain rhythm. You get up in the morning, make coffee, have breakfast, drive to the office. You sit down at your desk and have a pretty good idea of what needs to be done.

Someone has defined your responsibilities. Someone has expectations of you. There are meetings, deadlines, projects and priorities.

You do your job.

And when the workday is over, you shut down your computer, leave the office and go home.

You can do the shopping, cook something or tidy up. You can make plans for the weekend. You can meet up with friends. You can watch a film.

I’m not saying that having a regular job is easy.

But there is one thing it gives you that, for years, I don’t think I fully appreciated.

It has a clear boundary between work and the rest of your life.

When you stay home with a child, those boundaries suddenly disappear.

From the outside, it can look like taking the easy way out.

“You stay at home.” — You don’t “do” anything.

You don’t have to get up early, get ready and drive to the office. You don’t have to deal with corporate life, meetings, emails and pressure.

Working at home.

The kind of work you do almost on the side. The kind nobody really notices. The kind that never actually seems to end. Staying at home doesn’t mean you have less to do.

Who’s going to figure out what we’re having for breakfast, lunch, dinner and an afternoon snack?

Who’s going to make sure everyone has clean clothes?

Who’s going to get the stains out, buy new clothes when they’re needed and clean the shoes?

What needs washing? What needs taking out of the washing machine? What have we run out of?

Does everyone have clothes that still fit?

Have the cats been fed?

Has the litter box been cleaned?

Do we have washing detergent, medicine, shampoo and all the other things we need?

Do we have enough food and drinks stocked up?

What needs doing around the house? What needs doing in the garden? What needs doing in the bathroom?

And when we go on holiday — who remembers everything that needs to be packed?

And those are just the things you can see.

And then there’s the child. Her needs, kindergarten, appointments, doctors, clothes, food, a million little decisions every single day.

And on top of that, I have my own business.

VAT. Taxes. Accounting. Products. The website. Everything that no finance, marketing or HR department is there to take care of for me.

And I’d still like to go to the doctor sometimes. Take care of myself. Read a book. Learn something new. Do something just for me.

Except I can’t do any of that “after work.”

Because when does the work actually end?

And I think that’s what changed my perspective the most.

Being at home doesn’t mean not working.

It means doing work that often can’t be put off until tomorrow, handed over to someone else or simply switched off by closing your laptop at five.

And sometimes I even catch myself thinking that it might actually be easier to go back to the office.

Go to work, build my career, hire someone to take care of everything else, and simply say, “These are my eight hours. After that, I’m off.”

Because when you’re at home, all the tasks somehow become your responsibility.

And I think I’m only now beginning to understand why, for some women, going back to work can be not just a return to their career, but also… a relief.

Not because having a career or working in an office is easier.

But because it has a beginning and an end. It has boundaries. You know when your working day is over. You can close the laptop, leave the office and, at least in theory, be done.

Home life?

It doesn’t work that way.

There is always something else to do. Another meal. Another load of laundry. Another mess. Another thing someone needs. Another decision to make.

There is no clock telling you that your working day is over.

And perhaps that is the part I never understood before.

Sometimes, having a job is what gives you time off.