Well-Meaning Advice, Theories, and Auntie's Myths. Fact or Just Opinion?

Ever since I became a mother, I've been hearing the same well-meaning advice from all directions...

“She’s going to catch a cold! Put a hat on her!”, “What? She's two already and can't do that yet?!”, “She’s not eating enough!”, “Don’t hold her so much, you’ll spoil her!”, “Don’t comfort her, or she’ll grow up soft!”, “She must sleep exactly this many hours!”, “Take away the screens, don't allow it!”.

I started taking a closer look at these convictions. As humans, we have a natural tendency to generalize, look for simple patterns, and lump all children together. These folk wisdoms are passed down from generation to generation — or picked up on parenting forums — with such certainty and reverence, as if they were fully documented scientific theories.

I usually try to verify them: I reach for books, search reputable sources, and check what research actually says. And that's usually when I discover what these "unquestionable truths" really are.

Rigorous scientific theory is one thing — it is researched, tested, and grounded in facts. Meanwhile, these common "revealed truths" are usually personal beliefs, mere guesswork, or opinions of an aunt who heard from a friend that her cousin read something somewhere — a mental shortcut or someone's unaddressed fear dressed up as indisputable fact.

The problem begins when we confuse these two worlds — and let someone else's generalizations dictate how we live and raise our own children.

Where does the real threat lie?

The danger appears the moment we equate well-researched knowledge with an opinion repeated for years until it turns into "truth." Our brains love mental shortcuts. We look for simple connections and culprits where reality is far too complex.

History is full of such absurd, yet tragic patterns — here is a prime example:

• Popular rumor / fear: Women living on the fringes practice magic = Witches! Witches are evil and dangerous!

• Simplification: A witch often keeps a cat at home.

• Revealed truth: Since the witch has a cat, the cat is complicit and brings misfortune.

• Consequence: Mass extermination of cats in the Middle Ages.

• Real outcome: A plague of rats and the outbreak of the Black Death across Europe. Fewer cats meant rat populations exploded.

Looking back at this today evokes disbelief, but the mechanism remains identical. When we mindlessly repeat common wisdoms, we build our reality on false premises.

The Witch and Her Cats!

I have two cats at home myself, but I'm pretty sure I'm not a witch — and luckily, this specific "theory" is no longer in effect (though people still smile at superstitions about black cats crossing the path!). But it proves one point: an unverified belief, repeated long enough, can cause far more harm than good.

What happens when we confuse these two worlds?

Imagine this scenario: someone comes up with a theory — let’s say carrots are poisonous. They start talking about it loudly, film YouTube videos, write posts, and give interviews. Over time, a sizeable group of people gathers around them, believing wholeheartedly that carrots are pure evil. It doesn't matter if anyone ever researched it. It doesn't matter if they actually know anyone who left this world after eating a raw carrot. THEY KNOW. Carrots are toxic, end of story.

And we often give up our independence, decision-making, and intuition in the exact same way. We blindly follow an opinion pulled out of thin air, completely ignoring facts and what we see with our own eyes. And then we pass those myths along.

That’s why in March I see toddlers bundled up in heavy down coats and thick winter hats — because “it’s March, and in March we wear winter clothes!”. Never mind that the sun is shining brightly, the air is warm, and my daughter and I are walking right beside them in thin sweaters. A quick shortcut in the mind won over simple observation of reality.

Theory doesn't exist in a vacuum

It slowly constructs our reality, changes human behavior, and shapes entire societies. Our nature shifts because beliefs, mindsets, and attitudes are formed through learning and development.

A child is born without prejudices, ready-made theories, or rigid patterns. They simply learn them from us.

While some theories lead to harmlessly funny results — like an overheated two-year-old in a down coat on a sunny spring day — others can lead to dire consequences. Historically, it ended with exterminating cats and a plague. Conspiracy theories develop in a very similar way — out of a need for simple answers and shifting blame onto an invisible "THEY": "THEY are responsible for all our misery!". Historically, this has led to the persecution of entire social groups, and on a micro scale — to anxiety, psychological distress, and confusion.

And it spreads to the next generation. The child in our example, instead of picking up a simple life skill — reacting to the weather and listening to their own body — learns blind obedience to rules. Or simply grows to truly hate hats.

"Because you just don't take a small child to the high mountains!"

How not to get pulled into the loop of absurdity? (Especially as a parent)

Life is fast-paced, information is overwhelming, and parental pressure can be immense. It’s easy to lose your footing. To avoid handing your intuition over to internet advice or sandbox opinions, it helps to practice a few basic rules of mental hygiene:

1. Don't repeat mindlessly

   Before passing on sensational claims about "harmful foods," "dangerous vaccines," or the "only right way to parent," pause. Not every catchy opinion deserves to be passed on as certainty.

2. Ask sharp questions

   When you hear a new theory or someone proclaiming a "truth," turn on healthy skepticism and ask:

   • Who stands to gain if this were true?

   • What personal fears is this person trying to cover up?

   • Who exactly are these mysterious "THEY" and how do we actually know this?

3. Watch out for trigger words

   When a theory uses words like always, everyone, they, no one, never — red flags should go off. Extreme generalizations usually mean one thing: a lack of specifics. And without specifics, you know nothing for sure.

4. Verify across independent sources

   Maybe there’s a grain of truth in the story? Before believing it, check a few different sources. Remember that a single rumor passed along through Chinese whispers can look completely different at every turn.

5. Give the opinion time and run a small test

   You don't need to change your life overnight based on a new theory. Look at it calmly. See if it holds up in everyday practice, or run a small, safe test. See what your own observations and your child’s reactions tell you before adopting someone else's beliefs as your own.

P.S. One last important note: everything you read here is simply a collection of my personal reflections, experiences, and theories read in various places.

I don't want you to blindly follow any word I write. I can be mistaken too, and my perspective evolves over time. I simply invite you to think together, ask questions, and actively discover the world on your own terms.